I think I'm noticing a pattern here; I tend to only write blog posts on this site when a big change is happening in my life. This post is no exception.
Unless you've been living in an isolated room with no doors or windows or connection to the outside world for the past few months, you know that Summer is coming to a close. This fills many people with sadness at the conclusion of constant sunshine, and just as many people with joy of the impending Autumn. As for me, this Summer's end couldn't be more welcome. That is not because I didn't enjoy my Summer overall, but because I am more than ready to have a fresh start that I have been craving since the middle of my college career (the one that I think I referenced in my most recent post). I was under the impression that this fresh start would begin the moment I graduated, but this Summer story had other plans. Instead of the warm weather and sunshine and windows-down-drives being a fanfare of congratulations from the world at my release from the panic attack that is college, it was actually a broken epilogue, setting me up for the new story that would begin after these few short (yet long) months.
The way I've been describing this Summer to people who care to listen is that my default mood was apathetic/sad all of the time with spikes of absolute happiness, thankfulness, and excitement. My Summer was not bad, but only because of the multiple events that happened to disrupt the apathetic sadness that had taken over my mind. I'll list a few of these Summer-saving events.
-My friend/coworker's wedding: What I thought would be just a fun little trip with some coworkers turned out to be a highlight of my Summer. I saw two people, very much in love, commit their lives to each other. It was beautiful. And their first dance was the best first dance I have ever seen, not because of the song choice, but because it was just them and nobody else in the entire world to them while it happened.
-When I visited Paige: I'm not sure how to put this, other than I had an incredible time when I visited her. Now that the relationship is over, it hurts still to reminisce about this visit (and pretty much any aspect of the relationship) so I'll just leave it here.
-4th of July Party in June: I spent a weekend in Chicago with some of my favorite people, and I couldn't ask for anything more. It was so much fun. Alcohol-related stories abound.
-Nada Surf Concert: discovering Waters and having a great time with amazing people was a recipe for a great night. Best part - when everyone in the room sang along to "Blizzard of '77" together.
-Chicago Visit: I could seriously write a short story about this incredible trip to Chicago. This might be my favorite thing I did this Summer. Housewarming parties are awesome, and so is rum, film discussion, and kitchen floor singing. So are wavy walks on the beach, awkward bean pictures, and indie films. I adore this city, I adore these people, and I adore this whole weekend.
-Hangouts/parties/etc. at Rhiannon's apartment: Thank you, Rhiannon, for being such an amazing friend to me this Summer (and always, but specifically this Summer). Those late night talks were so needed. And thank you to every friend that came to any of these.
-Every single hangout with Tara: these nights mean more to me than I could ever say. I will never forget them, and I can't wait for the next one.
-Mending a broken friendship or two: letting go of bitterness and pain has been a theme this Summer. Thank God for forgiveness between friends. (This specifically applies to my friendship with Allyson more than anything else.)
-Assorted hangouts with Brittany (my soon-to-be-roommate): the spontaneous trips to Taco Bell, Walmart, East Campus, Fourth Coast, etc. with deep talks kept me sane a lot of the time. Thank you for being one of my new best friends.
[There is a good chance that I'm missing a lot of these, as I am very tired and hungry, and stupidly only ate a hotdog and some popcorn today. So odds are, if you point one out, I'll hit myself on the head and apologize profusely.]
[I also realize, looking at all of those things lined up like that, that this Summer was abundant in good times and great people. I am a blessed human being.]
I also looked back over some of the tweets I wrote this Summer and realized that it wasn't as big of a failure artistically as I thought it was. I wrote a few short works*, a bunch of lyrics, actually recorded some music, started a screenplay, started a novel, and planned out a ton of projects. All I need to do is pursue them. This makes me feel better.
Now that I've written all of that, I want to write a little bit more about what this fresh start means to me. Firstly, once I move away from the inspiration-suck that is Sturgis (sorry, but it's been a fact that I can hardly write a thing when I'm here) I will be able to focus on my writing more. I actually just started a new short story, and I couldn't be more thrilled (especially after such a "dry spell" of fiction writing). More on this as it develops. Secondly, I am going to adapt to being single again. Yes, the break-up did affect me very much and no, I still don't really want to write about it in a blog post, but wallowing can only last so long. It's time to get to know myself again. Thirdly, I'm just going to continue doing my best to live my life to the fullest (forgive the cliche). All I want to do with my life is spread love in the lives of all who come into contact with me, and that is what I will continue to strive to do.
And with that, I'll bring this messily written (but eye-opening to the amazing things that happened to me) blog post to a close.
Love,
Adam
*I'm actually planning on posting some of these works in the future on this blog. I may do one every week for the duration of September, if I remember. There are a few poems and a short story or two. None of them are particularly good, but they got me through this Summer when it comes to writing. Okay, that's all. Goodnight.
"Always love; hate will get you every time." - Nada Surf
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